sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
