Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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