Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
