hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
