Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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