What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
