Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
