Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize