i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
