i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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