it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
