haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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