i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
