someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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