I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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