Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
