so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it