just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He shit in the fireplace
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
