:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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