he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
