Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
