I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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