I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
