I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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