She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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