She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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