Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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