ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
