Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am naked and annoyed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
