No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
