both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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