I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
