Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
