Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
