he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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