More tranny stories later!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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