3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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