I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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