can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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