hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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