ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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