okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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