The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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