i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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