i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
