I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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