So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
