how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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