and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
