While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
