Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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