so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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