we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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