i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
