i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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